Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize