areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
