Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Christians are straight up FREAKS
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
