It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
