obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
There r osticjed everywhere
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
