i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Quick, to the slutcave!
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
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