and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
And then he peed in my hair
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
