I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
