Pants 0. Shit 1.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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