when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
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