she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
