The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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