i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
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