How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
and i looked up. we had an audience...
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Sext me about skeletons
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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