a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
