you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
