at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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