just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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