You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
