My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
