You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
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