Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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