On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
