Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
