My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
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