he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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