$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
