Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
