remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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