I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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