I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
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