Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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