I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
