i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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