i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
