Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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