Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
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