well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Randomize
