I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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