Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
