Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
