ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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