i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
