these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize