Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I just got carded by a ten year old.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
