im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
