I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
