I have demons in me.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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