Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize