***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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