rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Randomize
