we're blogging at a bar
Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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