took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Randomize
