I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
