You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
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