I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
