video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
