North Korea, Best Korea!
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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